I woke up in a sweat this morning at about 4:30am, partially because it's been hot, but also because I dreamt that I didn't finish the ironman last night. It was a terrible way to start the morning. I got out of bed quickly and went downstairs because I had a run scheduled anyway, but I couldn't stop harping on the dream - it was very vivid. The part that made the dream most unpalatable was the fact that I didn't finish IMLP not because I was undertrained or even because of a mistake in nutrition or race execution - I didn't finish because I just didn't feel like it... There were some obvious things that made it a dream, not real, like the fact that I slept on an air mattress in the woods. But Maddy was there with me, so was my family. And when I woke up the morning of the race I just didn't have the desire to do it. I got up, decided that I didn't really feel like racing that day, and I went back to bed. To make things worse, Maddy started telling me how I wasted so much time training and for what, I threw away time that we could be together, blah blah blah (again, it was only a dream - she would never do that). But holy crap - could this really happen? Are these my biggest fears?? The mental struggle continues to be a battle for me.
Anywho, not a good start to the morning, and I haven't been able to shake it yet. Since I got up a little earlier than I planned I was able to get a nice roll and stretch in before heading out for my run. I run an hour with some up tempo stuff mixed in every Tuesday morning, so today wasn't much different. My legs weren't turning over as well as I would have liked, and I was a little extra tired, so not a great run. But it does feel nice to have done something productive while most of the world is still snoozing. A swim is on the program for tonight. I'm going to need a serious energy boost before I jump in the pool.
Ok - swamped at school. Lots of grading to do.
Happy training, enjoy the arrival of spring, and do great work!
Note to yourself...do not sleep on an airmattress in the woods of the Adirondacks in July!
ReplyDeleteI too have been struggling mentally for some time now...the fire to rally on my training sessions seems lacking....our weather is just f'n brutal tho Im hoping thats a big part of it
D
Yes. Yes. This sounds like a classic head case, I've seen this before.
ReplyDeleteYou need to get to the true nature of the problem, there is a clear underlying purpose to that dream but you probably didn't see it.
The message you SHOULD have taken away from that dream is that:
You want to sleep with your mom.
Yup, I'm pretty sure that's it. You can have this advice for free. I'm here all week, dont hesitate to ask me anything else. I like to help.
In the meantime I would listen to DRog. Forget the air mattress you city-slicker, you can sleep in a sleeping bag on the ground just fine. Harden up! :)